But in season 11, we have finally been blessed with the content we deserve after making it through the plot dredges of season 10.
Tonight’s episode opens with Erika, sitting silently in the back of an Uber Black, on her way to see the other women for the first time since announcing via text that she filed for divorce from her husband with no prior indication that there was ever any trouble in paradise.
I just hope the RHOBH producers will also consider that from this moment forward, most of their audience is going to behave exactly like Kyle when she spots – and immediately starts coveting – Crystal’s $95,000 Hermès bag: we can continue trying to talk about the weather, or watching scenes of Sutton buying a Bentley… but our hearts simply will not be in it until we get to touch the sparkly thing.
Kyle and Dorit don’t exactly blow the entire party up, but the “stuff” they have “going on” is the definition of “petty.” And we didn’t even know about it! Ahead of the party, Kyle and Dorit both start talking to their respective husbands about how much they’re dreading seeing one another, and it’s revealed to us via flashback that they had an altercation on the plane home from Lake Tahoe.
But while Dorit seems pretty content to just be annoyed with Kyle sometimes, Kyle can only be content if things are discussed and moved on from immediately.
After Crystal offhandedly says that the stress of last weekend made her lose five pounds, and everyone cheerfully responds that it’s great, she tells them, well no, it’s not great, because she has issues with food that she needs to keep an eye on.
Kathy either doesn’t yet know how to play the game of pretending to be demure on camera regarding other people’s misfortune yet, or she doesn’t care about appearing demure at all.
When Kathy arrives at Kyle’s party, she’s immediately asking if anyone has spoken to Erika; when she and Kyle visit Sutton’s store, she’s saying they need to “figure this thing out,” and demanding to know if anyone has reached out to Erika beyond texting .
Which she does by filling her house with a s— ton of roses, jewelry with price tags, and mannequins wearing all of the black and white clothes from her store.
Erika has confirmed to Sutton that she’ll be attending the party, so while everyone waits, they discuss how not a single one of them knew this was coming.
“I know they have questions,” she says once more in her voiceover, as the scene from earlier kicks back into play.
Frankly, I don’t know what kind of look it is – but I’m sure ready to find out.