A sequel to 2017’s surprise hit, The Hitman’s Bodyguard, the new film takes elements that work moderately well in the first and squeezes them dry of anything resembling wit, personality, or entertainment.
Add to that jokes that fall flat, an abundance of weak CG, and action that’s both repetitive and immediately forgettable, and the resulting mess is an unlikable and ugly film.
All three main players ramp up elements of both their characters and their own personas to untenable degrees, and then they maintain it for the film’s entire running time.
Jokes are made at his expense, he’s hit by cars for the lols, the couple abuses him for their pleasure, and he just takes it all.
Director Patrick Hughes returns having fully committed to tying his career to big, dumb, action/comedies after his smart and far more restrained debut, Red Hill , but it feels like his enthusiasm has waned considerably with The Hitman’s Wife’s Bodyguard.
Returning writer Tom O’Connor is joined by Brandon Murphy & Phillip Murphy , but the best their three minds can concoct is some nonsense about EMP bombs, secret coordinates kept in a briefcase — seriously, coordinates are just numbers, right? — and lots of insults.
One other venerated actor appears later in the film bringing with him the only real chuckle, but I won’t spoil that discovery for you as it will feel good to giggle after an hour of silence.
Not that it started from similar heights, but The Hitman’s Wife’s Bodyguard is essentially the Lethal Weapon 4 of its respective franchise, so yeah, it’s bad.