A Real Jungle Cruise Operator Reviews Jungle Cruise

In Jungle Cruise, Disney’s latest adaptation of one of its theme-park rides, Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson plays an inexplicably brawny skipper named Frank, whose love of bad puns belies the fact that he is cursed to be trapped for eternity atop the Amazon River.

While I respected and mostly agreed with Bilge’s review, I couldn’t help but wonder if our perspectives were flawed, seeing as neither of us had ever been employed as Disney Jungle Cruise operators.

I wrote in my cover letter something like, “Just as I faced the challenges of the jungle, I could face the challenges in advertising,” or something stupid like that.

How did you get the same job as the Rock in the 2021 Disney movie Jungle Cruise? I was 21, and it was 1989.

What made you want to be a Jungle Cruise operator?What wouldn’t want to make you be a Jungle Cruise operator? The Jungle Cruise was one of the sought-after jobs.

Did you have to audition? How did you end up getting one of the best jobs?When you interviewed, I think you said what you wanted to do, or what you’d be open to do, and rank it, like “Attractions” or “Lifeguard” or “Food Service.” I definitely put Attractions at the top.

When he’s driving those people around and taking them through the jungle and activating the different things, making jokes about the “backside of water,” the big hippo … As a real Jungle Cruise skipper, you did the same thing: You drove this boat around; it only went forward and backward.

I had a straw jungle cowboy hat and a polyester shirt, tan and brown, and polyester pants.

Was there a script you had to follow, or did you have the ability to improvise?SOP — standard operating procedure — was that you were trained on the actual script.

They were the same as the jokes you yourself actually made?Oh, yeah.

And the joke about “I get paid by the number of people I take out, not how many I bring back” — that was definitely one that I’d say.

How did you keep it fresh? How many times a day did you have to say these jokes?You’d do two trips in the front boat, two trips in the back boat, two trips off.

Did you recognize at that time that the Jungle Cruise was racist? There was definitely some bad stuff … the “natives,” the headhunters.

Are you aware of or in a kind of secret society with the other famous Jungle Cruise skippers, like Kevin Costner?Apparently Steve Martin was a Jungle Cruise skipper.

If the Rock had been one of your coworkers, would you have found him intimidating? Was there competition among the skippers?There were definitely factions.

I probably wouldn’t have plunked down $30 to watch that if it hadn’t been for this interview with you.

It reminded me of being young, being 21, when my only worry was, “What time am I getting off of work so I can go meet my roommate so we can go to the bar and get five drinks for $2 each?” Someday you’ll miss being young, Rachel.

Was there anything that felt off from the spirit of the Jungle Cruise to you?The submarine was too weird.

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