“I’ve been in shock.
I just got a new phone, and I have a lot to say, so bear with me.
I haven’t been back to court in a long time, because I don’t think I was heard on any level when I came to court the last time.
I was forced to do… My management said if I don’t do this tour, I will have to find an attorney, and by contract my own management could sue me if I didn’t follow through with the tour.
I started rehearsing early, but it was hard because I’d been doing Vegas for four years and I needed a break in between.
They all said I wasn’t participating in rehearsals and I never agreed to take my medication — my medication is only taken in the mornings, never at rehearsal.
After that, my management, my dancers and my assistant of the new people that were supposed to do the new show all went into a room, shut the door and didn’t come out for at least 45 minutes.
It was like lifting literally 200 pounds off of me when they said I don’t have to do the show anymore, because it was really really hard on myself and it was too much.
I told him I was scared, and my doctor had me on six different nurses with this new medication, come to my home, stay with me to monitor me on this new medication, which I never wanted to be on to begin with.
And my dad acted like he didn’t know that I was told I had to be tested over the Christmas holidays before they sent me away, when my kids went to home to Louisiana.
They’re planning to send you to a small home in Beverly Hills to do a small rehab program that we’re going to make up for you.
Making anyone work against their will, taking all their possessions away — credit card, cash, phone, passport — and placing them in a home where they work with the people who live with them.
If I didn’t do any of my meetings and work from eight to six at night, which is 10 hours a day, seven days a week, no days off, I wouldn’t be able to see my kids or my boyfriend.
And that’s why I’m telling you this again two years later, after I’ve lied and told the whole world “I’m OK and I’m happy.” It’s a lie.
And the reason I’m telling you this is because I don’t think how the state of California can have all this written in the court documents from the time I showed up and do absolutely nothing — just hire, with my money, another person and keep my dad on board.
When I do everything I’ve told in the state of California allowed my father — ignorant father — to take his own daughter, who only has a role with me if I work with him, they’ve set back the whole course and allowed him to do that to me.
How come they always made me go? How come I was always threatened by my dad and anybody that participated in this conservatorship? If I don’t do this, what they tell me to enslave me to do, they’re gonna punish me.
The last time I spoke to you by just keeping the conservatorship going, and also keeping my dad in the loop, made me feel like I was dead — like I didn’t matter, like nothing had been done to me, like you thought I was lying or something.
I don’t feel like I should even be in room with anyone to offend me by trying to question my capacity of intelligence, whether I need to be in this stupid conservatorship or not.
I don’t owe these people anything — especially me, the one that has roofed and fed tons of people on tour on the road.
Again, it makes no sense whatsoever for the state of California to sit back and literally watch me with their own two eyes, make a living for so many people, and pay so many people, trucks and buses on the road with me and be told, I’m not good enough.
All I want is to own my money, for this to end, and my boyfriend to drive me in his fucking car.
I also would like to be able to share my story with the world, and what they did to me, instead of it being a hush-hush secret to benefit all of them.
For my sanity, I need you to the judge to approve me to do an interview where I can be heard on what they did to me.
Actually, I don’t want an interview — I’d much rather just have an open call to you for the press to hear, which I didn’t know today we’re doing, so thank you.
My own family doing interviews, and talking about the situation and making me feel so stupid.
I would personally like to — actually, I’ve grown with a personal relationship with Sam, my lawyer, I’ve been talking to him like three times a week now, we’ve kind of built a relationship but I haven’t really had the opportunity by my own self to actually handpick my own lawyer by myself.
And there’s a lot of judges who do end conservatorships for people without them having to be evaluated all the time.
Also want to speak to you about my obligations, which, I personally don’t think at the very moment I owe anybody anything.
I’m talking to you today because I feel again, yes, even is starting to kind of take it too far with me.
And the clever setup of being in Westlake, one of the most exposed places in Westlake, which, yesterday, paparazzi showed me coming out of the place literally crying.
It’s not okay for them to send me — sorry, I’m going fast — to that small room like that twice a week with another new therapist that I pay that I never even approved.
By law, Jodi and this so-called team should honestly – I should be able to sue them for threatening me and saying if I don’t go and do these meetings twice a week, we can’t let you have your money and go to Maui on your vacations.
The conservatorship, from the beginning, once you see someone, whoever it is, in the conservatorship making money, making them money, and myself money and working – that whole statement right there, the conservatorship should end.
You have to understand how thin that is for me every morning — I get up to know I can’t go somewhere unless I meet people I don’t know every week in a office identical to the one where the therapist was very abusive to me.
I’m not willing to go to Westlake and be embarrassed by all these scummy paparazzi laughing at my face while I’m crying, coming out and taking my pictures as all these white nice dinners, where people drinking wine at restaurants, watching these places.
But I don’t want to be evaluated, and be sat in a room with people four hours a day, like they did me before.
I do know common sense and the method that things can end — for people, it has ended without them being evaluated.
I was supposed to be able to — I have a friend that I used to do AA meetings with.
And I want to meet with a therapist once a week, not twice a week.
I was told right now in the conservatorship, I’m not able to get married or have a baby, I have a out so I could start trying to have another baby.
But I wish I could stay with you on the phone forever, because when I get off the phone with you, all of a sudden all I hear all these no’s — no, no, no.
JUDGE: Ms. Spears, you’re quite welcome.